Tag Archives: distortions

Take the teacher, not the course

10 Feb

I wrote this before the term started:

One of the biggest reasons that I hate splitting a series of coursework is that you’re fighting at least three things: time, methodology, and instructor. Taking a year gap in my 130 coursework was not the plan, especially since it means picking up with a different instructor (not bad, just different–different generation => different tactics) but it is what it is. The good: all the instructors (former and current) know who I am and I’ve been keeping in touch which means I’m not in a vacuum–if I need help I’ll have it. The bad: I’m picking this up in the second half of the series which means I’m expected to know the material from the first half (information that everybody else in the class has freshly imprinted on their minds.) The ugly: Changing instructors means changing texts… My old text did things in a “reverse” order from the common presentation. Specifically, we jumped right into epsilon delta proofs and continuity arguments whereas almost everybody else and their mother starts with sequences and series, compactness, and subsequential limit points.

It’s going to be an adjustment and I will have my difficulties fighting this material. But call me an optimist–I think I can do this.

I was an idiot, and I was ignoring so many signs. Including the ones I couldn’t have foreseen.  Continue reading

As Time Goes By

25 Nov

 Being dizzy all of the time puts this weird filter on my time sense. Today we celebrated my nephew’s 10th birthday two days early. It’s crazy to think he’s three years away from being a teenager. I know I hated it when people would say that I’m growing up too fast, but damn. I get it now.  Continue reading

Ghosts of departed quantities. Or when seeing is believing.

20 Nov

Vertigo creates visual disturbances. Sometimes they’re big, sometimes they’re small, and more often than not, they don’t really affect my perception of what I know I’m looking at. But every once in a while, they can screw me over. Continue reading

Musings on Impermanence

18 Nov

Christine said something really interesting last group. Well, many interesting things, actually, but this one in particular struck me more because I had just done a post on the permanence of my condition.

One of our group members expressed the feeling of being completely overwhelmed by the constant vertigo and tension caused by that perpetual spinning. I understand. It’s quite awful–often times when this first began, I would wake up and I actually thought I was dying because I had never experience vertigo before. But when vertigo becomes a long-term condition, the fear of imminent death becomes a buoy of surreal numbness in a sea of anxiety. Sometimes the waves can overtake the buoy and it is completely overwhelming.

But the thing that Christine really picked on in this interpretation is the term “constant.” Nothing is constant. Truth is, she’s absolutely right. Continue reading

MAYDAY! In November.

17 Nov

Ho-leee crap, folks. Today? Today SUCKED. I mean, I usually have all manner of disturbances with storm systems, but it’s been a long time since I’ve had this sort of response. It’s rainy and windy like a proper winter rain cell right now–one of the first decent ones we’ve had all season since last year and…

I woke up, and I didn’t realize I had. Continue reading