Tag Archives: DBT

There’s sick. And then there’s sick.

5 Nov

Well, the weird fluctuations in my balance that have been creeping up on me aren’t weather. Weather probably isn’t helping, mind you, but I woke up this morning and my throat’s on fire. I’m officially sick. Again.

So far, it’s made me more wobbly than normal, more irritable, and just generally miserable. The VRT exercises were overtly painful. Usually I can power my way through that, but today? Today I have mucus. And mucus changes things. But one nice thing is that the autogenic training designed to divert bloodflow to my extremities seems like it can help with the intense throbbing in my head right now.

I fact, I think that this is the perfect time to get back into bad, and practice autogenic meditation. And if it happens to turn into sleep… well, it is what it is. 

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Dropping resistance to the ohm.

3 Nov

One of the more difficult things in this therapy so far is managing time for meditation. It’s not that it’s a big demand. 30 minutes a day is hardly a lifetime. But it’s rare that I sit perfectly still for that long with a quiet mind. My mind chatter is incessant, and it’s a pretty loquacious entity. However, that’s an excuse. There is no wrong way to meditate and even practiced meditators experience thoughts during a period of deep meditation. The point of this is not to be perfect at not thinking whatsoever, but to acknowledge and accept the “imperfections” in my practice. They are my reality, and in becoming aware of this, being able to come back to center focus plays a critical role in my well being. Still,I find myself pushing it aside.   Continue reading

Why the Curiosity Rover rocks so hard when it rolls (to scan rocks.)

2 Nov

Reflecting on yesterday’s meeting, I realize that I would’ve made a great psychotherapist. Or neuropsychologist. Or cognitive scientist. When I was a little girl, after I decided against working at Pixar (8-year-old me had taken a trip to the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago and quickly realized that we had more explosive things to do! Mwahaha Science!) I set my beady little sights on being a neurophysiologist for about 2 years. I thought (and still think) the brain is the bees knees–that bad boy is wired more densely than any microchip I’d ever seen, and it was naturally plastic–much better than Barbie and her hollow noggin. (I would literally rip the heads and limbs off of my Barbies to see how they were made. And then I opted for Legos because that’s just the type of chick I am.) The point is, I loved looking at how the brain ticked. Interfacing logic, programming, synthesis,linguistics, biology, physics, chemistry, mathematics. It really is your jack of all trades.

The reason I bring this all up is because the underlying mentality for making this therapy work is that I have to get curious about my misery! Continue reading

It only works… if the number is two.

1 Nov

Session 2 of Group therapy! I’m tired as all hell (5am is just an ungodly hour to be taking a shower before hitting the road) but I’m very much thankful for this experience. I’m learning quite a bit more than I expected, both about these techniques and myself. But there’s a lot I want to try to cover, so I’ll relegate my own perceptions to later posts over the next two weeks (from now on, the remaining meetings are every other Thursday.) 

The 2nd session is again partitioned into two main areas of study: autogenic training exercises and cognitive restructuring.  Continue reading

Monday is Monday

29 Oct

It’s amazing to me that no matter how detached my life is from an actual schedule, I always feel like Monday is some sort of dramatic imposition on my person. I’ve been doing the VRT exercises as faithfully as possible (I’m supposed to be doing them 3 times a day, but most days I can only stand about 2 cycles before it becomes intolerable) and so far I’ve been pretty at peace with that. It’s going to suck–it has to get worse in order to get better. But for whatever reason, Monday rolls around, and my go-to reaction is an infantile “I don’t WANNA.” And I truly don’t understand, this. What don’t I wanna? I know that I can do this, I know that this is intended to improve my life, and honestly, all things considered, it hasn’t caused me to derail in a combustible pile of FAIL yet, so what gives?

I’m trying very hard to not be judgmental, because that’s part of being mindful, really. So, self. There’s really no problem with you having a chilly relationship with a day of the week on an arbitrarily concocted calendar. But you’re aware of it, and that’s good. So don’t go beating yourself up because you’ve got a case of the Mondays.